Petshop of Giddy Happiness
by Yami no Miko
Summary: What will happen when a Mary Sue gets a pet shop next to the Count's? Lots of humor, apparently. FINISHED!!! FINALLY!!!!
1. Default Chapter

Petshop of Giddy Happiness  
  
Disclaimer: I own the Petshop of Giddy Happiness, and that's pretty much it.  
  
A/N: I saw that this was a less-than-popular topic, so I decided to add to this. Note that I am a master of the parodying arts. This is not a parody, however.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was a normal day in the neighborhood for our resident fruitcake, the Count. He went out to get the customary sugar rush, and waited for the first batch of morons with problems seeking pets to come.  
  
Leon: ::walks up:: I know what you're up to! ::runs away::  
  
Count: I wonder why he does that every morning. ::scratches head::  
  
Anonymous Cliche Gawker: Hey, look, they're building a cool petshop next to that creepy one.  
  
Count: Creepy?  
  
Another Anon. Cliche Gawker: Yeah, let's go check it out!  
  
::A horde of half-mad people runs by the Count in order to look at the new petshop next door::  
  
Count: Might as well... ::walks over to the petshop:: Petshop of... oh my.  
  
::The horde of people hears about a new food court in a local mall and hightails it in pack fashion to ravage the CinnaBun::  
  
New Owner: ::comes out:: Hi, I'm Mary Sue! I own this petshop! How are you doing? ::smiles with teeth that temporarily blind the Count::  
  
Count: Mary Sue, just so I know that my eyes are not failing me, will you please read the name of your petshop to me?  
  
MS: Oh, it's the Petshop of Giddy Happiness! Say, would you like some cookies? I just made a fresh batch!  
  
Count: ::cringes:: Um, no thank you. They're probably taint- er, I mean, I'm not fond of sugary items.  
  
MS: Oh, well that's okay! They're tofu and wheat cookies!  
  
Count: No thank you! I have to be going! ::runs back to his own store::   
  
MS: Oh, that poor man. He must have a nasty old disease or something.  
  
Count: (back in pet store with flashlight up to his face) I'm... so...scared... right... now.  
  
Leon: ::breaks into PSOH:: I know what you're up to!  
  
Count: ::just stares at Leon:: Why do you bother doing that?  
  
Leon: ::looks around nervously:: What?  
  
Count: Why do you come here? Is it just to bother me or is it some sick entertainment?  
  
Leon: Um... I don't know, I guess it's fun.  
  
Count: And they call ME creepy.  
  
Leon: I heard that.  
  
Count: Duh.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Alright, it's not finished, more soon, I had to post this to gratify my bored cousin. 


	2. The Count Stalker

Petshop of Giddy Happiness Part 2.  
  
Disclaimer: I own the Petshop of Giddy Happiness, and that's pretty much it. Also, I forgot to mention this before, but everybody is OOC.  
  
A/N: I saw that this was a less-than-popular topic, so I decided to add to this. Note that I am a master of the parodying arts. This is not a parody, however.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Later that day...  
  
Count: So, what do you think?  
  
Leon: I think I'm gonna go over there and ask for a date.  
  
Count: You have problems.  
  
Leon: I know. ::grins::  
  
Count: Did you bring me anything?  
  
Leon: Not to my recollection. ::walks out::  
  
Count: Why?  
  
Q-chan: ::comes flapping in:: Squeak-squeak-squeaker!  
  
Count: I see. This is bad.  
  
Q-chan: Squeaky squeakums! Squeaker squeak!  
  
Count: Hoo boy.  
  
Q-chan: Squeakums! ::packs up tiny little bag::  
  
Count: No, don't go! Q-chan! Noooo!!!!  
  
Q-chan: Squeaky squeak squeak.  
  
Count: Oh. Okay.  
  
A/N: Um, that whole conversation... even I don't know what Q-chan meant, just for the record. I would've translated if I did.  
  
Q-chan: ::leads way to PSOGH:: Squeaky! ::points to Mary Sue strolling out with Leon::  
  
Count: I see.  
  
Leon: I'm so happy!  
  
Count: This should be good for a laugh.  
  
::Montage of Leon and Mary Sue on their date, the count following with a camera::  
  
Count: These will be worth good money. ::giggles::  
  
A/N: Never thought the count to be the stalker, did you?  
  
Audience: O.o  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That was all my screwed-up mind could come up with for now. Enjoy. 


	3. Um... Gimme a Minute fer a title here...

Petshop of Giddy Happiness part III  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
::We see the Count on a computer, (so sue me) doctoring the photos of Leon and Mary Sue::  
  
Q-chan: ::cackles in that cute way of his::  
  
Count: Yes, Q-chan, I know. These'll make a lot of money at the police station once I paste in George W. Bush's face.  
  
Leon: ::walks in wearing a (gasp) suit and tie:: Hello, Count.  
  
Count: ::approaches him like you would a hungry, rabid squirrel:: What are you wearing and why haven't you accused me of something?  
  
Leon: ::laughs jovially:: Oh, Mary just sent me over with some nice cookies. She also wants to know if you're feeling okay.  
  
Count: Uh... thanks. Tell her I'm feeling fine and htat I said thanks for the cookies.  
  
Leon: I will. Goodbye, Count! ::walks out whistling::  
  
Count: ::turns to Q-chan:: Did that scare you as much as it did me?  
  
Q-chan: Squeaky-squeak. (trans: Holy shit)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Meanwhile, at the Petshop of Giddy Happiness...  
  
Mary Sue: Hello, hunny-bunny!  
  
Leon: Hello, squeegy-peegy! How's my little snookie-wookie?  
  
A/N: For the purpose of you, the reader, and I, the author, not losing our last meals, I'll translate this conversation into normal speech. ::shudders::  
  
MS: So, how was that nice man?  
  
Leon: He said that he was fine. He also told me to thank you.  
  
MS: Well, that ws kind. ::smile wides and temporarily glare-blinds Leon:: I ought to go over there myself and talk to him!  
  
Leon: That's a great idea.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Back in the Petshop of Horrors...  
  
Count: Must ::smack::... protect ::smack::... self ::smack::.  
  
::We see the Count and Q-chan are barricading the entrace tot he shop upon seeing Mary Sue heading that way::  
  
Q-chan: Squeak!!!! Squeaker squeakums! (trans: Nooo!!! There's no way we'll keep her out!)  
  
Count: That attitude won't cut it here! We must work for our safety! ::goes bck to nailing the doors shut::  
  
MS: ::walks in:: Hello Count! ::smiles::  
  
Count: ::forcedly smiles:: Why hello, Ms. Sue.  
  
MS: Would you mind if I took a look at your sweet little animals? You know, as one petshop owner to another?  
  
Count & Q-chan: ::grin evilly::  
  
Count: Why, of course, Ms. Sue. Perhaps I could interest you in one as well.  
  
MS: That might be nice. I love little animals! ::insert unintelligable babbling about 'snookies' and 'squeegies'::  
  
Count: Yes, don't we all.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Yami-chan: That's it for now, minna. Come back when I have more. BTW- this is almost over. Yay! 


	4. I suck at titles, okay!!??

Petshop of Giddy Happiness part IV  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Count: Now, if you this animal, you must sign this contract. ::hands Mary Sue a contract::  
  
MS: What is this for? To make sure I take good care of Schnookums? That's a great idea!  
  
Count: Uh.... sure.  
  
MS: Wait... what's this? I can't show my little Schnookums to other people?  
  
Count: Uh... I just don't know how others will treat your little ::gulps:: Schnookums.   
  
MS: Well, this is fine! ::signs contract:: Thank you!  
  
Count: No problem, Ms. Sue. ::grins evilly:: Enjoy the pet. Goodbye!  
  
MS: ::leaves::  
  
Q-chan: Squeaky squeak squeaker. (trans: This should be amusing)  
  
Count: I quite agree, Q-chan. I quite agree.  
  
Count & Q-chan: ::go into fits of evil cackling and squeaking::  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Well? You're reading this and not reviewing. Tsk-tsk. 


	5. The End, I guess ::shrugs::

Petshop of Giddy Happiness part V  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Yami-chan: Well, I know what you want, but before I start, I'd like to discuss the death of the wonderfully talented Aaliyah.  
  
Count: Why?  
  
Yami-chan: Because ::sniff::, I was a big fan, and she was a good singer.  
  
Count: How did she die?  
  
Yami-chan: Plane crash this morning.  
  
Count: Oh.  
  
Yami-chan: Let us observe a moment of silence for the (literally) fallen artist.  
  
::Wait a minute::  
  
Yami-chan: Now, go ahead and read the silliness.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
A week later...  
  
MS: Aaaaagggghhhh!!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
In the Petshop of Horrors...  
  
Count: Well, I think that would take care of our little Mary Sue problem, Q-chan.  
  
Leon: ::bursts in:: I'm onto your schemes! ::calmly walks out::  
  
Q-chan: Squeak. (trans: Yes, it would seem that all is back to normal. But what of next time? I've learned something today; never look down on your competition. Though they may have weaknesses,   
we all do. It is human nature, and though we are all different, we are, at the same time, unconsciously, all alike.)  
  
Count & Author: ::raise eyebrow::  
  
Q-chan: Squeaker? (trans: What?)  
  
Count: Whatever. I guess this is the end.  
  
Leon: ::walks in:: Count, would you have anything to do with Mary's mauling by a seemingly harmless and cute spider monkey in a leotard?  
  
Pugudo: ::bursts in:: I just couldn't take it anymore!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Yami-chan: That was... odd, to say the least.  
  
Count: I don't get it. That was the end?  
  
Yami-chan: Well, yeah.  
  
Count: That didn't have much of a plot.  
  
Yami: It had a plot at all?  
  
Count: And why was everyone so out of character?  
  
Yami: Because it aded to the comedic effect. And 'cause I said so.  
  
Count: It amazes me how much you write and how little talent you have.  
  
Yami: I hate you.  
  
Count: And why was Leon even IN this fic? His appearance offered nothing.  
  
Yami: Must you constantly undermine my genius?  
  
Count: Where?  
  
Yami: Where what?  
  
Count: Where's the genius?  
  
Yami: I hate you so much.  
  
Count: ::giggles, then suddenly stops:: Hey! What happened to my photos!?  
  
Yami: ::going through them and laughing:: By the way, thanks for these! Yoink! ::runs off::  
  
Count: Yoink? That's a word? 


End file.
